Letter to the Sexually Abused
By Okwudili Umeweni
You never came across this article for nothing. God arranged it that you may be healed of your pains and also be a source of blessing to another one. You see, God is so much concerned about every of His creature that He longs to see us live a good life. When God actually brought me out of darkness into light, He arranged it so well without my notice. It is now I realize why He actually did it that way because of His immeasurable love for me!
The Holy Spirit wouldn't have opened my eyes to see the pains and nightmares you are going through right now if He doesn't want to do anything about it. God works through vessels, and now through this article He is extending His healing hands to your broken and shattered heart.
Yes, He knows how broken your heart can be, and only He can pick back the broken pieces and mend it. He knows the bruises you suffered; the emotional trauma you have been through all these while; the hatred that has filled your heart. You would have even committed suicide, but by the help of God's angels, you are still alive till this day just because God knows you are a light.
Left for me personally, no long words of mine can go far in healing your heart but thank God for the Comforter, the Holy Spirit who is everywhere and knows everything.
Have this in mind that I have not written to let you know that you can forget what you went through; rather, I have written to let you know that you can still remember it yet without the pains. Mike Murdock said, "The healing of your memories will not remove your ability to recall your past, but rather give you the ability to replay the past without the accompanying pains." It is possible.
It is my strong belief that after you might have finished reading this letter; rather than feel the pain as you remember the incident, you will only smile. Praise God!
A wise man said, "When you live in the past, your present is tarnished and your future is ignored." That's the truth. Oh, how I pray that God open your eyes to see what a bright and great future awaits you.
One thing the devil who goes about seeking for whom to devour does, is to utilize every opportunity of restlessness in one just to see that such a one concentrates on the problem and forgets greater things that lie ahead. Now, you will know the truth and the truth will set you free (John 8:32). The devil has been defeated. Hallelujah!
Job in his pain and anguish said, But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. (Job 23:10)
Perhaps, this abuse has made you not to trust any man. "They are all the same," you've said.
Dear, that is hatred. It's a lie of the devil. He wants to tarnish your future by such thoughts. Renew your mind and think well. All men are not the same; and the right one who will truly love you for who you are will actually come your way in Jesus name! (That is if you are not yet married).
"I have always wanted to be a virgin till marriage," you have said. "But now I have been defiled. It's of no use." No you are not! The good news is that:
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Now, it all depends on how you see yourself because Christ sees you in an entirely different way NEW!
All you need is to stay engrafted in Christ. That's all. When Jesus, the man of love and compassion comes into that broken heart, oh what manner of joy shall fill your heart!
Perhaps as a result of the horror you passed or are passing through now; or the wounds you sustained as it went on, you've become restless. Rejoice! Here is God's promise to you:
For I will restore health to you, and I will heal your wounds, says the LORD, because they have called you an outcast, saying, this is Zion, whom no one seeks after and for whom no one cares!(Jeremiah 30:17 Amp)
Again I say rejoice! It is little wonder the bible says, Be happy [in your faith] and rejoice and be glad-hearted continually (always). (1Thessalonians 5:16 Amp)
What happens is that as you rejoice, it pains the devil to know that he cannot make you his slave.
Could it be there is still a bit of worry and pain in your heart, then read about these people who once were sexually abused even at a tender age, but rather than concentrate on the incident and its pains, they cast all their cares and burdens upon Jesus and pressed ahead. Now, they are world changers.
Joyce Meyer, that great woman of God, who runs an inspirational and motivational program, Enjoying Everyday Life, that is touching and changing lives around the globe was abused by her own father at a very tender age! Now she, through that experience, is helping out the broken-hearted. She now has four children. She says, "I had lots of hurt and lots of pain, lots of woundedness, bruises, and broken heartedness in my life. I was abused sexually by my father, abused mentally and emotionally. My mom didn't know what to do about it, and she was being hurt in the process. So she just didn't deal with it. And I can guarantee you, just because you don't deal with something, that doesn't make it go away."
You may also know another great woman of our times Paula White, who as a result of family misunderstanding, her father committed suicide while she was yet five years old. Paula's mother, Myra Joanelle Furr, later became an alcoholic. While her mother worked, Paula White was looked after by caregivers, whom she said sexually and physically abused her for seven years between the ages of six and thirteen years.
She had a baby out of wedlock but soon married the baby's father. At age thirteen, while living in Maryland with her new born baby, partying and living a wild lifestyle, she was introduced to the gospel and became a Christian.
Now Paula is heard and viewed all over the world as one of the most sought after motivational and inspirational speaker, changing and restoring lives. Glory to God!
What about Tricia Benett who lost her parents at the age of five. Put in the orphanage home and was abused from a tender age of five at the orphanage every night. She would go to the graveyard to cry and pray for death. At seventeen, she attempted suicide and was sent to the psychiatric hospital.
One day she heard the preacher preach and she felt something leave her. She then began to feel God's love. Later, God showed her a vision that she was going to rescue children and give hope to those who think there is no hope. Happily married, she was later used by God to write a book called Polly Brown.
Another lady called Shella E., was abused at a tender age of five by a fifteen year old babysitter. But now she is a world acclaimed gospel artiste.
I could go on and on but there's limited space. I believe there are one or two things you've gotten from the stories of these women. You are not the only one or the first to experience such; but if you don't ignore the pain of the past, you may end up being the only one that will end up badly. It's your choice.
I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live. (Deuteronomy 30:19)
In the course of such sexual abuse, you may have gotten pregnant. Don't abort the baby! No baby formed in the womb is valueless. God can turn every mistake to a miracle. The provision to see the baby through will come. Only stick to God.
How do I begin to narrate the story of James Robison who was a product of rape? His 41-year old mother sought an abortion, but the doctor would not comply (Oh, how we need more of such doctors today).
After putting an advertisement in the newspaper, his mother gave him up to Rev. and Mrs. H.D. Hale, pastors in the Houston suburb of Pasadena. He would remain with them for a few years, until his mother reclaimed him as a young boy and took him to her home in Austin.
Now, James Robison and his wife, Betty hosts the daily television program Life Today, which airs around the world, touching lives!
What actually would have happened if the mother of James Robison was defeated by her present circumstance of shame and rejection and had aborted the baby? Perhaps the thousands of lives that are blessed round the world today wouldn't have been.
God, speaking to Jeremiah, said: Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee: and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. (Jeremiah 1:5)
Never try to terminate God's plan. He that takes care of the baby and makes it grow in the womb will take care of it while it is born. Only trust God.
Perhaps as you read this letter, one way or the other, you are still under abuse sexually by someone who is close to you and has vowed to deal with you if the secret is leaked. Don't hesitate to report it to someone higher than him or your pastor. I believe with God's wisdom in your pastor, he will handle it well.
Never get worried. Jesus, the Man who said, "Come unto me all you who are worried and have heavy loads, I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28 paraphrased), still lives!
Dear, if you don't feel true love from people anymore, mine is an exception. I love you with all my heart. That was why I obeyed the Holy Spirit to write this letter to make you know that what lies ahead of you is great. But the best news is that God who is love wants to live inside your heart. He is all you need in life.
I leave you with His promise to you:
Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43:18,19)
An evangelist cum author