Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer
by Joyce Nanette Johnson
by Joyce Nanette Johnson
“Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer”, is a humorous look at the real lives of Boomers, vs. the media’s unrealistic view of some sexy, energized person that only exists in some marketing mavens’ mind. There are many of these advertising darlings out there, but Over Fifty Ain't Always Fabulous isn't aimed at those Boomers, but it is for those who have survived the scrapes and bumps of life, but we are not as shiny or energetic as some of our touted counterparts. “Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous” laughs out loud at the present and then takes you on a sentimental visit to the past examining how the same situation means different results for Boomers today. Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer is a shout out to the past, examination of the present , and a celebration of life’s poignant but hysterical journey.
“Boomers have always been vocal, boisterous, have a history of implementing social and political change and can still sway advertisers with our discretionary income, if we have any money left at the end of the month. Through humor and poignancy, my new book will have fellow Baby Boomers laughing at the past and present.
It’s important for us to have a light-hearted view on life. My drugs cupboard is full to the brim with pills of all sizes and colors (if you were to see it you’d think I was making money from it) and I can’t exert too much energy without rolling on the floor with a writhing Charlie horse – but this is a small price to pay for the lives we Boomers have lived. My book celebrates all that is great about being over fifty – even if I can’t really get my eyes to focus properly on the pages!
Over Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer invites you along for the comical ride that is accompanied with hearty, out loud in your face laughter,” said Johnson.
Amazon Book Review
Since its release, the book has garnered a string of rave reviews. For example, one reader commented, “Over 50 Ain't Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer” is a great read, packed full with everyday situations that will appeal to everyone whether you’re over 50 or not. The author doesn't just dispel the commercial myths of women over 50 , but also engages the reader with jokes of the trials and tribulations most of us have experienced or will experience after passing the big five 0.”
Excerpt: Fifty Ain’t Always Fabulous: Reflections of a Baby Boomer
I have a few words to say, “Fifty ain’t always fabulous”. There I’ve said it. I’ve said it and you know what? I’m glad I said it. You probably want to say it too, but you’re scared to say it.
Scared of the rhetoric and gasps of dis-belief that will come from those so-called cougars that you see in a magazine that are artfully draped over a cliff, as the Greek Isles dashes waves of glorious blue-green water over her. Then there is always a man staring at her with obsessed, hooded eyes.
You’re scared that your world does not measure up to the professionally made-up actors on TV. These women are shouting out a challenge to you and I suspect you think you can’t live up to the hype. However, what they’re asking us to believe is “the hype”.
My back would laugh at me and taunt me, “Go on and try it you old fool and watch what I do to you!” My upper and lower torso would be plotting their sadistic revenge if I ever thought I could lounge against hard rock. I would end up dying on that rock as the water gurgled in my lungs because I couldn’t get up.
Where is this sexy, vibrant older woman that we see on the TV? She does not live in my house nor take up residence in my mirrors. Ladies, if you were not that hot looking when you were young do not believe the hype that you will turn into this wild, unleashed, beautifully sculpted cougar. At times I look like an old toothless, clawless, scruffy house cat only waiting for a bowl of warm milk for pure contentment.
Clothes Today and Then
I remember I used to like everything tight. I liked tight jeans that showed off my perfectly rounded butt. My butt at this point does not need to be showed off; it is the most visible part of my body. It will take over any space without being invited. Even when I am staring straight ahead looking at you, my butt can be seen poking from around the back. It intrudes its way into the conversation. It is a rude, obnoxious appendage that wants to flaunt its appearance at any occasion. It is almost another person complete with its own personal 5 o’clock shadow and zip code. Neither diets, nor exercise can undo the big booty.
I have observed some of the people in the clubs dancing today. I could not be a “Hoochie Mama Dancer” of today. I don’t think I could “Drop it Like It’s Hot”. If I drop it, it will still be there until the paramedics come to pick me and “it” off the floor. Sexual contortions and gyrations would only cause a late run to the drug store for a new heat pack. My idea of going low to the floor is to point my head down and bob it in unison to the music.
When did I become the caregiver of my mother? Now in my 50’s the music has switched to a new tempo for both of us. In the beginning it was she who led and it was me who followed. As the last mournful sound is played the positions are switched. I was silently elected to a position that I never envisioned would come. I cannot remember the exact day that the exchange took place and our parallel worlds tumbled into a vortex and intermixed into and we have now evolved into almost a new species.
I will not go to a gym, because I do not want to go to jail for assaulting a youngster with a perfect uplifted body in every area and strangling her after I hear for the hundredth time in an exasperated tone “ Now, really now. Is that the best we can do?” These stressful reproachful words are muttered after I can’t keep up in Zumba class or had gotten entangled in the sports equipment and had to be helped down.
( Continued... )
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Meet the Author
Joyce Nanette Johnson is a freelance writer based in St. Petersburg, FL. Born in Newark, NJ she grew on the central Jersey shore, in Long Branch, NJ. For many years Florida has been her adopted home. Joyce Nanette Johnson has been a contributing writer for The Tampabay Times, correspondent for the Weekly Challenger and St. Pete Bulletin newspapers, and was a columnist for Citilife Magazine. Her first acceptance was for a short story for Essence Magazine. She is the owner of Joydee Productions, which developed and produced websites for community organizations and other public relations projects. Joyce Nanette Johnson was a finalist in 2010 and 2011 Tampa Bay Chapter of the National Association of Black Journalists Awards. Ms. Johnson was the recipient of the 2011 Women in Communications Award presented by the Gathering of Women, Inc. St. Petersburg, FL.
Over 50 Ain't Always Fabulous-Reflections of a Baby Boomer
by Joyce Nanette Johnson