OUR SONS
by Diane A. Sears
by Diane A. Sears
Fourteen years ago, immediately after the launch of IN SEARCH OF FATHERHOOD(R), something very profound happened. I began receiving letters from young men -- Our Sons. Their letters enclosed brilliantly crafted essays and soulful poems. They asked me to publish them. And I did.
In exchange for their essay or poem, they received a free copy of IN
SEARCH OF FATHERHOOD(R). A number of these young men continued to send
essays and poems. And they sent letters. These were young men -- Our Sons
-- from, among other places, New York, California, Michigan, Texas,
Alabama, Michigan, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, and Indiana.
So, what was profound about receiving poetry, essays, and letters from these young men? Each letter had a similar introductory sentence: "I am 23 and I have been incarcerated since I was 18. Will you publish my essay? Can I get a free copy of your publication? " or "I am 28 and I have been incarcerated since I was 16. I'm sending you a poem I'd like you to publish."
Many of these young Men -- Our Sons are fathers -- fathers of daughters and sons. They do not tell me how or why they embarked upon a path that led them to a maximum security correctional facility. Nor do I ask. But I do have questions: What is going on with Our Sons? What is going on in Our Sons' homes, schools, and communities? And how do we fix whatever is going on that is driving Our Sons down the path to prison with all deliberate speed?
So, what was profound about receiving poetry, essays, and letters from these young men? Each letter had a similar introductory sentence: "I am 23 and I have been incarcerated since I was 18. Will you publish my essay? Can I get a free copy of your publication? " or "I am 28 and I have been incarcerated since I was 16. I'm sending you a poem I'd like you to publish."
Many of these young Men -- Our Sons are fathers -- fathers of daughters and sons. They do not tell me how or why they embarked upon a path that led them to a maximum security correctional facility. Nor do I ask. But I do have questions: What is going on with Our Sons? What is going on in Our Sons' homes, schools, and communities? And how do we fix whatever is going on that is driving Our Sons down the path to prison with all deliberate speed?
On
the whole, when Our Sons are born, they emerge from the womb with
unbridled energy, insatiable curiosity, and
irrepressible enthusiasm. They are playful, resilient, and incessantly
asking questions. And then unexplainably, for some of Our Sons
-- "the lights go out". They no longer soak up knowledge like a
sponge. Gone is the bright smile that once illuminated their faces.
Their eyes no longer sparkle. So, again I ask the question: What is
going on at home .. .. . at school . .. . and in our communities?
Our Sons -- including Our Sons who are housed in juvenile and adult correctional facilities -- want and need to know what every soul in the global village we know as Planet Earth wants to know: Do you hear me? Do you see me? Do I matter?
Perhaps one of the key "pieces of the puzzle" to preventing the "lights from going out" in the spirit and souls of Our Sons and keeping them out of juvenile and adult correctional facilities is to tell them in words and deeds -- every day --
"I hear you! I see you! And yes, you do matter You matter because
you are the heart and soul of the village. You matter because you are
the future of the Village. You matter because one day you are going to
be a leader In the village. You matter because one day you are going to
be someone's husband . . . someone's Father . . . Yes, you matter . . .
and you are loved!"
Diane A. Sears - Twitter: @DASears
2013 International Men's Day - United States Coordinator
Member, University Council for Fatherhood and Men's Studies Program at Akamai University
